LordsWOW!

Every so often something comes along to inspire us like no other. For many it’s religion. For some it’s reaching the apex of a gargantuan mountain. For the Lords, we are in complete and utter awe of ShamWOW!

Several rumors have been floating around about this incredible product. Let us clarify. Michael Phelps was actually smoking ShamWOW!,not pot. $18 Billion has been set aside to line the Alaskan “Bridge to No Where” with ShamWOW! Sure Chris Brown b-slapped Rihanna, but the story you didn’t hear was that she snatched his ShamWOW! and unloaded it on eBay.

Look, there’s 50% of the cola right there! The other 50%? We served it to you last night during Big Monday with three-week-old Ponzo’s pepperoni rolls.

"It soaked up all of the pools of milky water inside the Loop! I am so satisfied I even started a fund raiser to supply every special-needs HISD students with one! No more paper towels to suck up that drool.” -- BleachBrown, ShamWOW! consumer

So what are you waiting for? Call now and get them while they’re hot. Warning: Do not tease or taunt ShamWOW! And definitely do not sleep too close to it. It’s suction is so powerful it will even soak up your dreams.