Jeebus Tebow Is a Born-Again Virgin

Last week, you may have seen the ridiculous article on Tebow’s virginity, which surrounds a question posed to Timmy at SEC media day last week. We’re sorry, but Tebow must be employing the Iraqi Minister of Information for his PR this season.

"Guy's, I know it sounds ridiculous, but Tim Tebow is a great lover."

Here are five reasons why Tebow is definitely not a virgin:

1) If you have circumcised multiple Thai boys over spring break, you are not a virgin;

2) If you've raped Oklahoma a BCS championship game, you are not a virgin;

3) If you’ve showered with Urban Meyer, you are not a virgin;

4) If you’ve only had sexual intercourse at church lock-ins or on a missionary trip and cried afterwards, you are still not a virgin; and

5) If you’ve dated the girl seen below, you are most definitely not a virgin (or is a closet homo).

If this girl hasn’t blown TT, then we’ll devote our blog entirely to

discussing Tony Danza’s wardrobe on Who’s the Boss?

After all, Oprah says oral sex is sex.