Thursday, April 16, 2009

Anvil Bar: The Drinks are Great or It's You!

Anvil Bar and Refuge
1424 Westheimer Rd
713-523-1622
Several Lords made it down to this new super spot yesterday after 8 hours of ditch digging and shaking ass for some frothy refreshment. Fledglings of Houston's most obnoxious lesbian pun, Beaver's Ice House, the barbabies who opened Anvil aim to serve highballs filled with cold art that you really aren't supposed to enjoy, taste or drink.

Our notes/impressions:
  • This place is as cool as frozen steel, both icy in temperature, layout and building remod.
  • Our first drink tasted like chilled battery acid vomit. We brought this pH nightmare back to the bar, only to be greeted by a dickface who personified and subsequently slandered our innocent taste receptor cells for not recognizing liquid greatness.
  • It takes about 6 minutes to make a menu drink, so bring a fucking book with you to the bar, even on a slow night.
  • We don't really care, but for a place that brags on its Master's in Mixological Studies, the bartenders eye that cheat sheet like its a porn spread of their mother.
  • No television. By design? By budget?
  • The Dark n' Stormy was solid, apparently so was The Curve.
  • We counted at least 2 Quicksilver shirts.
Not this guy, but not all that far off
  • We ordered a Beer Republic IPA off the menu and they were out, which was a real disappointment as this is our favorite Indian Pale Ale.
  • Didn't try the food, but it looked like what you'd expect Monica Pope's disciples to spit up on a plate.
  • They really need to bring the Opal Smash over from Beaver's.
We applaud Anvil for its attempt to crush the Houston Appletiniratti and come with a stark freshness. That being said, we aren't rushing back for more slow whipped egg white agave juleps served in bleached raccoon skulls any time soon.

Our rating system today is based on 90's hip hop and we're forced to give Anvil a slightly below average rating of Shai, for its talented ambition in a supersaturated market.

For more information about Anvil and other drink related overexposure, check out: drinkdogma.com

5 comments:

reindeerpizza said...

my boyfriend scoffed when i asked why they didn't have a tv...
and my white russian tasted like broken glass. how do they make a white russian taste bad?>!?!

i do not get the hype (or the reason for the pretentious air of this place)-
i counted way more striped oxfords than quicksilver shirts but maybe i went there on yuppie exodus from midtown night?


i do like the remodel, though.

CandacitaBonita said...

A LOOOONG time ago when Anvil was Slider's, RIGHT after it was Daiquiri Factory or whatever, a bunch of us frequented the joint. It was really laid back. The drinks were great, the bartenders were cool, and pretension was non-existent. I can't see any reason I'd ever want to walk into the place at this point.

K-Ham said...

I couldn't agree more! Why would a mixologist invent drinks that taste like ass?

Ed Wrath said...

The bartenders serve attitudge by the shovel full. They are knowledgeable but their egos are difficult to swallow at times.

groovehouse said...

If I want basil, dillweed and plumbago I'll order a fucking salad.