Once Hairful Friday: Hemptaculous

Early in season four, a young retarded man from Hanover, Indiana descends a fateful Boston staircase to become assistant drink monkey and dolty straight man in a wood paneled pub called Cheers. For several years, Woody Boyd served pints of idiocy to government employed alcoholics and the obese with a glass-eating child's understanding of the elementary plot developments around him. Young Boyd apparently also took to punching police officers in the face while laughing maniacally.

Franklin County Detention is always glad you came.

Decades later, you can still find Woody smacking the law as he sprinkles hemp kernels throughout America's parks like some urban Johnny Appleseed with bloodshot eyes and waning sperm count. The only difference is the replacement of Midwestern frat curls with Pope hating Sinead O'Connor's alien scalp.

If you need us tonight, we'll be working on the climax of our Cheers the Musical screenplay, which may keep us locked in the media room of our gaudy R. Oaks high rise condo analyzing the various emotions displayed by Sam Malone's billowy synthetic pelt.

Remember peasants, don't be careful this weekend...
BE HAIRFUL!