Friday Quick Hits

1. K-Ham graciously suggests the best Houston food merchants who don't charge a cork fee on the 80 ounces of Mad Dog you brought with you as lubricant on date night. Though a relatively infrequent poster, her words are gospel...also, she's our sponsor.

2. Steve Winwood made a sexfire in the Toyota Center Wednesday night. If you missed it you're probably still hunched over in agony from the 11-4 kneecapping delivered by the purple and gold glitteratti that is LSU baseball.

3. The smelly proprietors over at Indie Houston press on with their crusade at trying to make Houston independent music relevant. We share their same delusional affliction, as to this day we refuse to believe that Macaulay Culkin's character dies at the end of My Girl.

Wanna go tree climbing Thomas J? He can't see with out his glasses.
Fucking bees

4. Hair Balls scribe and prostitute frequenter, John Royal, gives his take on the organ blending plague that is this year's Astros team. Royal ultimately suggests the tack hammer mercy killing of Jason Michaels, a charity to which we'd happily donate.

5. It's someone important's birthday this weekend and to celebrate you will find most Lords flipping a lobotomizing amount of alcohol as we crash the moat of one of our many Height's castles. This anticipatively jubilant weekend is best discussed amongst the angelic tones and godly hair of sisters Wilson.

Happy Friday Motherfuckers!