PS. The Black Swan was obviously hosting some sort of Japanese wedding reception, because not since Karate Kid Part II have East and West cultures clashed so mightily in one evening.
2. We spent all of Monday after 5 working concrete out front of the Toyota Center scalping fake Brittney Spears tickets to various Girl Scout troops and homosexual men. We don't sell the experience, we sell the dream.
3. It's less than a week away from opening day and we're filling up the hot tub with canola oil in anticipation for the scariness that is Oswalt facing Zambrano next Monday. Speaking of scary faces...
We are rooting intensely for our favorite non-Latin Astro not named Lance or Roy. Our prayers that Hunter learned how to properly slide into second (a testicle of the game we assumed dropped during teeball) this off season and can put together a year of uninjured completeness. Positioned on an unstable limb here, we're saying this five tooler is an All Star in 09.
4. Here's a little something to get you moving this Tuesday, because...well...you deserve it.
Don't be afraid to climb on that conference room table and let your office know who's king.