Quick Monday Notes

1. We just killed a Hamilton on green facepaint at Party Boy, as we get set to run caboose in this year's Houston St. Patrick's Day Parade. Fueled by brown liquor and someone else's tradition, this will be the third year that Lords have piled into the back of a F150 and indiscriminately launched metal shamrock key chains into crowds of Johns and crying orphans.

2. Its under a month until the Astros home opener against the Chicago Cubs. We're rolling our rrrrs in preparation for the return of El Caballo. Lee was tossing up doubles at a career clip last season only to knucklecuffed by Shitjar Arroyo. This year It's Panamanium!*

3. The Houstonist kindly lists the front half of this week's offering in the department of hearing. Our Wednesday is now a nightmarish coin flip we pray explodes mid air and cleaves our heads open, as we must choose between the twin hells of Canadia's Blink 182 or getting Fancy at the Rodeo.

4. This muggy weather angers the beast.

5. We're shopping a screenplay entitled Heroine Kitty. In short, its a period piece about a successful Calico who moonlights as a street justice paladin while battling the demons of a debilitating smack addiction. Think The Adventures of Milo and Otis meets Trainspotting set against the backdrop of the 1987 Invisible Touch Tour. If you'd like more information about this screenplay or another libretto, you can get in touch with our agent:

Tyfoon Coinstein
e: what!motherfuckers@2bluntproductions.com
p: (281) 2BL-UNTS

HEROINE KITTY

In a Land of Confusion, only one can save you...

...but can she save herself?