Sunday, August 24, 2008

Chaise Lounge Review

Undoubtedly the new kid on the block of Washington Avenue, the Chaise Lounge often plays second fiddle to the trendy new Pearl Bar. (Seriously, I can only watch desperate horny divorcees hula-hoop for so long on a Friday night while drinking cheap ass beer.) However, the LOTL think this diminutive bar has some real character and promises to soon roar at the top of its lungs: I too can wreak havoc in this revamped ghetto!

For direct evidence of the magnetic force emanating out of this bar, one need look no further than our friend Glenn’s attempt to leave this bar. After pounding a few frosty Miller Lite’s and partaking in four lively rounds of Pub Quiz, a plastered Glenn staggered out on to the fetid streets of the crack-laced Washington Avenue in his polyester-patterned disco shirts and into a one of Houston’s most reliable rent-a-ride in an effort to “call it a night”. Glenn spewed a flurry of incoherent commands ordering his guide to drive him to his abode without further delay. The cabbie sped away as a barely-lucid Glenn lay secured safely atop its supple black plastic bench seat in the fetal position. “We’re here”, the cabbie mumbled to Glenn 90 seconds later. Glenn tumbled out of his yellow carriage.

“Home”, Glenn hazily murmured to himself as he frustratingly explored his jean’s pockets for his front-door key while images of his soft velour blanket and a sippie cup of warm milk whirled through his mind. Then, what he thought was his the entry way to his house, the door directly in front of him swung open suddenly vomiting out two of Houston Height’s lifeless souls it had once graciously taken in. Glenn took a shallow step backward to gain his balance and then plowed straight ahead through the mouth of the seemingly familiar looking building. Like Haley’s comet he had come full circle back to the bar to continue a night that had just begun. At this point, Glenn had to admit to himself that he just couldn’t fight this feeling anymore. He’d discovered the newest gem of the Loop, the Chaise Lounge and there was anything that could keep him from continuing his night of debauchery - not even himself.

Glenn, you are home and it’s called the Chaise Lounge.

Although eye candy is sorely lacking in this newly renovated bar, LOTL is confident that drunken, coked-up, twenty-year-old-something sluts will be spilling over from the Pearl Bar in short order. At this point, your best bet is to bring your own contingency to take advantage of CL’s intimate atmosphere and friendly service. However, this novel libation apothecary will always provide entertainment, whether you’re alone or with a covey of friends. Simply put, there’s no denying the allure of its sub-par air conditioning and homely vinyl bar stools. Not to go over looked, it also offers the always-popular MP3 jukebox.

The Lords of the Loop’s rating of the Chaise Lounge? Two rock-solid thumbs up.

1 comment:

Bleach Brown said...

I was outside smoking a cigarette and talking to Clay, who assured me Glenn got into a cab and was well on his way home. As we walked back in, there stood Glenn - top three buttons ajar smiling like some paisley phoenix come out the ashes.

CL is an easy place, one of the new owners owns Harp on Richmond. They are changing the name from Chaise to Aulde Dubliner (check your tab reciept) and its moving towards pubdom soon. A/C in the back annex was frighteningly lacking, but that shouldn't take away from the fact that I heard Mister Mister on the jutebox.