Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Lake House Waterside Cafe

This laid-back burger joint is the ghetto version of its haute, snobby sister-in-law, The Grove.
Nestled in the center of Discovery Green, it will surely keep the downtown drones and convention goers from having empty tummies.

The smokey burger is the antithesis of the movie The Lake House. Loaded with mushrooms, grilled onions and white chedder this is definitely my newest food addiction in Houston. It’s so kick-ass it’s like watching the Devil’s Advocate, The Matrix and Point Break all at once with a redacted Keanu. From what I’ve heard, the Kobe Beef Hot Dog also seems to be an H-town favorite. Wash it all down with Golden Yukon fries and a Coke Zero and you'll turn away from that Osteen cult to worship a new religion known as Burgerism.

Overall, considering the hard economic times we are facing, you’re much better off with grabbing a bite here than paying $17 for a sub-par burger and sitting in some trendy puke-ass-green Andy Warhol signature retro furniture at The Grove.

Watch outs: The lemonade is so sweet it’s like they threw Miley Cyrus in the blender and added a straw. Also, parking isn’t spectacular in this area, so be prepared to go curbside or pay the outrageous valet fee at The Grove, which might require a home equity loan. Plus, you probably have a better chance of running into Osama Bin Laden at an Oprah book club meeting than actually seeing your car again.

Very truly yours,
E.Wrath, Burger Connoisseur

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