Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Looprivia Vol 4: It's not working out

Welcome back to another edition of the fungasm that is Looprivia! A game where you, the subservient troll, can spin the wheel of fate and win really the most atrocious set of prizes, all of which will surely burn down any semblance of the life you hoped to live.

Here is just a taste of what you could win:

- A trash bag of mushrooms picked off genuine Crockett, TX cowpies by D. Byrnes ( hand-drawn identification legend, indicating which species will yield tracers and which will make your insides burn with a taqueria green cholula fire not included).
- A Kaz Matsui autographed hemorrhoid pillow. Also, since he no longer requires them, you can have his Japanese baseball bats.
- The Garden Yeti
- Ernest Goes to Jail (1990) on VHS. Yes the epic.
- Breakfast in bed prepared and served on the crotch of Mr. Venezuela

If you believe by answering the following scantroids with precision will have you waking up to a scrumptious crab omelet and a direct debit account with the credit score plunderers over at Fingerhut, then you couldn't be more correct.

- Looprivia Vol 4: Gymbo Jones -
1. The sneakthieves running Crew Heath and Fitness out of Soma's kitchen on Washington play a mix derivation of something by Moby...
a. more than a gay singles' bar circa 1998
b. less than was played at Guantanamo
c. right now, and then later on in the hour
d. all of theses answers are tragically correct

2. There is a $20 entry fee at the 24 Hour Fitness on Post Oak due to its ratio of scrippers to non-scrippers. T or F?

3. The YMCA in midtown is a great place to...
a. push out a hernia
b. have your identity stolen
c. dodge the gauntlet of swinging Hemingway crotch in the locker room
d. All of the above and a staph infection

First to answer watches arguably the weakest Ernest movie in the comfort of their own cave. Good Luck!


Anonymous said...

Crew is gay terrible. They moved a year ago and most of its members got fucked with a memebership to a gym now miles away.

Fuck Crew.

Harms said...

1. D
2. T
3. D

Diesel Burnes said...


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