Kiss My Ass Ike

So it’s official. Houston is staring down the barrel of a Cat 3 and he’s about to give most of south Texas the bird. You know, keeping up foreign relations.

For context, that hair was rated as a Cat 6.

We were considering heading over to Costco to stock up on some provisions for the weekend, but we realized we’d rather not arm wrestle wandering vagrants from outside the Loop for that extra jar of cheese whiz and jumbo pack of giant pixi-sticks.

And if that weren't enough to deal with, the Horns'/Toothless Pigs' game has been moved to the 27th. We can tell you one place we will definitely not be on that date: Austin, Texas. Can you imagine what that city will be like on that weekend? ACL fest goers will be so high on R-kansas trailer park meth it will look like Hill Valley from Back to the Future II.

At least Amy Winehouse will finally feel at home. And if Bobby Petrino stumbles up to your door and offers you a nice little treat, just remember this: