Tuesday, June 2, 2009

OTL: Sao Paulo

We decided to hop on the red eye and go where it's winter. Equipped with a pillow case of cel phones meant for women of the battered variety and our collection of slightly used hypodermics we find ourselves in Sao Paulo.

Cleveland was out late slumming it with some of her girlfriends. She met her Omar Sharif in Cairo and his tempting roofie teabag. Their unwanted brown spawn grew up to be a very obese and dusty Sao Paulo. It really is a love story.

We just ordered something you can only pronounce under water. It's a plank of fried cheese covered in meat. The beer we are confronted with doubles as a tool for fire suppression.
Ironically the meat is battered too.

Not pictured is a garbage can of fries, two unfiltered packs of Newports from WWII and a coupon for complementary back-alley angioplasty/heart abortion.

The English television is a choice between soft core American pornography and one of the Delta Force sequels. In truth, we would choose nothing else.

Our outbound flight to Paris was cancelled for some reason, so we'll see you back loopside in a few days. Obragado!


Ed Wrath said...

Meat pies and fire suppresants are my two favorite things in life. Try and load some in your carry-on to bring back as souvenirs. Sounds like Delta Force 5 was better than the new Salvation. Try not to board any Air France flights. We don't want to have to come looking for you in our pontoon.

Diesel Burnes said...

Do they have a Big 50 like Woodrows?

Bleach Brown said...

EW - Please find and place my bloated, shark tasty body under Cahill's. Set the whole lot a blaze, so finally we can be ONE.

DB - They do, but its a 50 mile traffic jam. It still takes two months to get through though.

Diesel Burnes said...

What's more dangerous - the traffic or the fermented plutonium double pint beers?

Bleach Brown said...

How does one quantify danger?

We've been in a mile long tunnel for the better part of an hour and our hair is on fire but it's the traffic which concerns us.

We welcome the beer fire hydrant that awaits us.


YoungHouston said...

Are you implying that the meat in your dish was made from the bodies battered women? If so, we applaud your resourcefulness, Brazil.

We also have the sneaking suspicion that the deadly emissions that came from your body after this meal were strong enough to take down a plane.