Monday, February 16, 2009

Guilty Pleasures of the Lords - We Shall Overcome!

Sure everyone is downtrodden by the market's latest ominous news. The chances that you or your neighbor will lose their job increases exponentially with each passing day. What can we Looper's do to take our mind of these dire days? The answer is simple. It's the little things in life that allow us to make it through each billable hour and sales call. Here are a few of the simple things in life we yearn for and crave. We don't just promise intangible hOpe-bama. We offer real life-changing diversions at your very fingertips, something no government bailout could ever supply.

1. Billy Ocean

Truly orgasmic. He's also just kicked-off a European tour. Don't be surprise to see us there.

2. Malcolm in the Middle.

Yes, we DVR four episodes every day and get goose pimples at the prospect of being able to fast forward thru commercials after a long day of staring at Outlook 2003.

3. Coke ZERO on Tap

Our office may have cut discretionary bonuses this year, but at least we have this bubbly bit of heaven to quench our parched throats and caffeinate our souls.

4. House shoes

We've broken these out for many public occasion and soon we'll be pairing them with a robe for a night out on the town. Don't be afraid. Embrace comfort.

5. Cadillac Bar's Sunday Brunch

Stuff your faces and drown your sorrows in mimosas at this Sunday spot. Opens at 11 am and consistently better than head from your file clerk.

6. Target

Quality tail is abundant in this super store and provides free entertainment for hours on end and a better chance of a hook-up than wasting a $100 on a tab for a socialite named Aspen at Sammy's.

7. Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Fuck you, it's delicious.

Check out these sinful self-indulgences and hopefully you'll reconsider catapulting your leased BMW off the 610 / I-10 interchange on your way to work tomorrow morning.

1 comment:

Bleach Brown said...

To be fair, it looked like Aspen was giving you your moneys worth on stage that night.